You’re a kind person.
An animal lover. A good listener. A supportive friend. A coach who wants everyone to live their best life. A healthy eating ambassador. A plastic-avoider.
Are you being kind to yourself?
You think you’ve got your self-care regime sorted. You exercise regularly. You get your nails done every month. You’ve set up a weekly home delivery for food shopping. You’ve outsourced admin jobs or cleaning.
In the grand scheme of things, you feel like you’re being kind to yourself, so…
- Why do you feel tired, anxious and lonely?
- Why do you pick at food all day long or reach for sugary snacks, chocolate or coffee?
- Why are you snapping at your kids, partner or feeling irritable for no real reason?
From the outside, other people would say that you have your sh*t together. Hey, they might even say you have a ‘perfect’ life or ask ‘how do you do it all?’
But the reality is, you feel overwhelmed and are definitely NOT being kind to yourself.
You see, things like:
- Dieting, eating zero carbs, avoiding sugar or juice detoxes
- High intensity exercise classes, heavy weights workouts or long runs
- Watching box sets on Netflix for hours
- Studying for another qualification
- Getting up at 4am to journal, meditate, do yoga and walk for 2 miles
…might FEEL like self-care, but when you’re doing them because you feel you should, or because someone else told you to, or because you never think you’re doing enough, or …. well, you get the idea, then they simply ADD to your STRESS.
All of the above list absolutely CAN be great self care activities. But they must come from a positive, happy heart-space. Daily activities that come from love, not from fear.
Here are my top lifestyle swaps to go from stressed to blessed:
- Instead of dieting, deprivation, guilt, shame and ‘never being quite enough’, switch to nourishment for body mind and soul. Ask yourself, ‘how do I want to feel today?’ If it’s healthy, vibrant, alert, agile and bouncy – then feed yourself natural, whole foods, home cooked meals and perhaps a fresh vegetable juice. If you want to feel loved, nurtured and like you’re being wrapped in a big blanket, then perhaps it’s time to eat the bowl of pasta, the slice of cake or the piece of chocolate – whatever makes you feel special and content.
- Instead of extreme exercise after a day of work or parenting (or both), perhaps your body is crying out for a hot bath with candles, or date night and sex with your partner.
- Instead of watching TV endlessly to numb the pain or silence the noise in your head, or studying for yet another certification because you never believe you’re good enough, simply take your body out into nature. Stand with your feet on the ground and ask yourself, ‘what do I really need?’ You are absolutely enough already AND you have all the answers inside. You just need to tune in to listen.
- Instead of getting up super early or staying up really late just to get things done, take a step back and think about your true priorities and your natural cycle. If you’re not a morning person then however much you force yourself to wake before 6am, chances are you’ll resent it and the positive energy won’t flow effortlessly. What is really important to you? Do that first. Then take plenty of me-time in between all the non-negotiable stuff. The rest of it? Let it go…. (Trust me, Elsa was right!)
Your challenge for today is to do at least ONE thing that is kind for yourself; kind to your body, mind and soul.
Me? I just ate that big bowl of spaghetti for lunch. It was like a big warm cuddle for my insides on a cold, snowy day!
With love, light and carbs,